I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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