you would pick up someone in the library
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
