so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
