How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
where are my pants?
in the oven.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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