This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
sarcasm needs its own font
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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