Will you blow on my dice?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
