You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
