Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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