So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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