sorry about calling you the devil all night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
