no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
