help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
