Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
