i just had sex bonerless
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
