Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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