Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
