So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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