I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
