Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I smell stomach acid.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
