if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
