At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
