Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
