I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
