maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
