She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
