I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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