yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
