..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize