better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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