she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
