People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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