Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
