How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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