Just fell off a train. Bad.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
