His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
