I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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