So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
