Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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