This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
