i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
