Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
