you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
