I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
