going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
