Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
