at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
