Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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