That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
