i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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