he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
