He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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