That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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