those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
