dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
