my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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