is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
