The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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