3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my being single is dangerous.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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