is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
