well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
i've created a new STD.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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