New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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