Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
