grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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