they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
