I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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